I still havn't found any dirty pictures that contained monkeys screwing each other. Danmit all to hell! I mean, this is the internet, you should be able to find anything the mind can dream up. Why can't I find this one little thing?

The problem is bigger. In my search for this thing that nobody knows anything about I've seen many other things. Most of them made me want to hurl. Oh well.

But it still makes me wonder. I mean, some sicko has to have this sort of pictures somewhere! If you have some, email me ;)

Oh, I got no email again. At least in regards to idea to write about. So here you go. You fucking worthless piece of shit. Since you didn't email me.

How to have sex with your car

You will need a few things before you start.

1. A car

2. Lots of KY jelly

3. One of those beer cozies

First get the car ready. You know, kiss it, make sure it knows that you love it. Then your going to show it who's boss. Take your beer cozie, cut it up a bit so that it fits nicely in the tailpipe. Smear lots of KY, and your ready to rock.

I do not suggest you try this without the foam cozie, the tailpipe is pretty sharp, and will probably ruin your manhood. So, please follow my directions.

Oh, and make sure to brag about this to all your friends ;)

I'm still thinking about moving. I think I'd prefer an appartment at this point. Sure they pack you with other people like sardens, but that's ok. With my super ultra ninja spy gear this could be fun. Tap into the neibors phones, install a closed circuit video system in the complex. Basicly know more about the girl next door than her husband does.

Oh, I'm not telling you where I move to when I do, that way you can't blame me when naked pictures of your dog start showing up on the internet. Muahahaha!

My watch was blowing up. Hmm, tasty. I should also point out that I don't actualy plan to set anyone on fire. Well, a couple poeple, but they realy do deserve it ;) Namely Adam Oleson. Such a luser.

I think that my mind is getting stranger and stranger as time goes on. I forgit to do basic things like eat untill it's become a issue my peers can't help but notice. Sleep is a thing I try to achive, but it rarely happens that way.

It would also appear that I've seen most of the porn on the internet at this point. I pull up a random page, and think "Hmm, I've seen that". Quite sad realy. There is little point in such things anymore.

One day I do plan to get maired, and breed. But not now. I don't want to make my life all that messy at this time. Not to mention cost. Kids are quite expensive, and more trouble than thier worth sometimes.

Speaking of that, I've been hooked on some weird shit latey. Yep, so wierd that I'm not allowd to talk about it directly. The only thing I can say in regards to this is 'Boo'. If you don't know who he is, then you don't need to know.

He's going to be one of the first aganst the wall if there is a revolution. I'd gladly put a bulet through his head for being such a sick fuck. But that's not going to happen any time soon. Oh well.

He's the kind of guy who makes you run in fear. Thinking things that are aganst the law to think. Now that laws like that actualy exist. Is your mind clear from anything that would cause 'them' to lock you away forever? I doubt it.

My time with not eating meat is over. It's far, far to much trouble. I went about a month without, and felt quite good, but the trouble. There is meat in most everything! I had to carefully examine the label of anything I ate. Even things you wouldn't expect, like twinkies. Coulnd't eat them.

But now that my experiment is over, I can go back to eating seven pounds of cow death a day. I'm sure that some poor farmer will cheer when he hears that.

Well, probably not seven pounds a day, but you get the idea. I do plan on keeping it to a minimum, but not zero. It's hell to find fast food places that serve 'veggie brugers' when your in a hurry.

EOF